Character Talk

CHARACTER TALK
or Welcome to My Insanity

Many creative writers say that their characters are so beloved and real to them that the characters seem like they’re alive. This certainly holds true for me. I feel towards my creations as I would my own children, loving, protective, and nurturing. They’re just as aggravating as children, too. I confess that in the throes of imagination, I’ve occasionally had a conversation/argument with them. (No, I do not hear voices—back off with that straight jacket.) I usually draw the line at my characters holding discourse in my head, but if I did get them together and gave them a topic to discuss, it might go something like what you see below. Totally a hypothetical situation, honest. (No, really, that straight jacket is not my color.)

Cast of characters and their respective books:
Mea Brin, Bay Stone, Regan Freya, Warren the android: The Huntress (published by DLSIJ Press)
Kai Shay, Sin Shay, Cassie Draegen, Del Givliani: The Sunscape Triology, Book 1 Last Chance (published by DLSIJ Press)
Anya Vaedrin: Angels and Ministers of Grace (published by DLSIJ Press)
Chase Stryker, Sukeza bet Marish: Untitled (unpublished)
Black Widow: The Third Sign (unpublished)

Michelle’s Characters on the Subject of Her Writer’s Block

Mea: Whine, whine, whine. That’s all the woman ever does. You’d think after all these years of writing she’d come up with better excuses than “I’m not in the mood” or “My muse has gone fishing.”

Regan: Give her a break, Mom. She’s got lots going on right now and—

Mea: Whatever.

Warren: Muses don’t go fishing.

(pause)

Mea: How very random of you, dear. That doesn't negate the fact that she's dropping the ball on my daughter's story—where's Bay? Bay, if you get any further away from this conversation, you'll fall out of her head. Don't you have anything to say?

Bay Stone: Hell, no.

Warren: (laughs) Now, there's a shocker. You know, he's usually just so gabby… Was that gesture for me? Because you're not my type, big guy.

Regan: Don't tear him apart again, Dad. He's such a pain in the ass to put back together, and I swear we lost some parts last time.

Mea: Focus, people. We're here to talk about our creator's stalled projects and what's to be done about it. Do any of the rest of you have suggestions?

Kai Shay: How 'bout a cattle prod?

Sin Shay: Kai! Be nice. Remember that idea she had about killing off a major character to end our series? That could be you.

Kai: No way. She never kills off the main love interest—bad for romance. Hard to have sex when you're dead. And I'm her hunky hero for the third book…if she ever gets there.

Cassie: Oh Stars, don't challenge her! You know how she hates to be thought of as predictable, and she has such a stubborn personality.

Del: Chill it, Cass, you’re gonna yank that braid out.

Anya Vaedrin: I don’t think there’s any cause for concern—

Mea: Of course you don’t. Your story’s finished.

Anya: Hey, she’s thought about a sequel.

Mea: Thinking and starting are two different things.

Chase Stryker: Who put the bitch in charge?

Sukeza: Chase! Are you nuts? She looks like she could break us all in half without breaking a sweat. She scares me, so she can be in charge if she wants.

Stryker: Everything scares you, farm girl. And I don’t think she could break the Widow. What about it, Widow? Wanna haul in?

Black Widow: Go away.

Stryker: Come on, lady. You got nothin’ to say?

Widow: I say you should all shut the hell up. Your constant chatter is giving me a headache. I get homicidal when I have a headache.

Mea: Thank you for your insightful contribution. But since your story is also finished, I believe I speak for everyone when I say, “Same to you.”

Sukeza: (soto voce) What’s she doing, anyway?

Widow: Painting. It’s part of my anger management therapy.

Sukeza: Oh. Um, is it working?

Widow: Not really.

Sukeza: (to rest of group) I vote we move way over there.

Cassie: Seconded.

Mea: Oh, for crying out loud. Can we please focus? How many stories does she have unfinished? Seven? Eight?

Sin: Hmm, let’s see—there’s Cassie and Nick’s, your daughter Regan’s, the goddess one, the aliens and dreams one, the detective one, the cute soldier one—

Del: Hey, watch it.

Sin: He reminds me of you, honey. There’s the telekinetic child, the mind control woman, the prelude to those werecat short stories she wrote, and Stryker and Keza’s nearly finished story. Plus the Widow’s finished piece. Is that everything? I believe that’s ten, not counting the Widow’s.

Stone: Christ Jesus.

Mea: You can say that again, tiger. So what do we do about it?

Warren: We can kidnap her muse.

Mea: Hmm, there’s a thought.

Warren: I was kidding! Just kidding. Please get that evil glint out of your eye.

Mea: Who’s up for a little snatch and grab? And maybe a bit of torture. Her muse is fairly weak-willed, so it shouldn’t take much persuasion.

Kai: Throw in random beatings, and I’m there.

Mea: All right, so here’s what we do…

Warren: Oh, god.

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